Truth be told, I’ve never really been “the new girl.” Even from the beginning of elementary school, I never felt out of place because I had friends from my neighborhood that started each school year with me. When I started middle school, I had some of those same elementary school friends going to the same school. The school I went to was a private school and was adding a grade level each year. I started my time there in sixth grade, continued through high school, and was a member of the first graduating class. Of course, friends came and went throughout those years, but I never had to go out of my way to make friends. My graduating class was only 51 people, and we were a pretty close-knit group.
Entering college, I had several high school friends attending the same college and I was still in the same city. I lived at home and commuted. I made new friends in my classes, but again didn’t have to go out of my way. I got my first teaching job and two of the girls that I student taught with got jobs at the same school. My husband and I went to the same church from the time we started dating and we were there for ten years. When you live in the same city for almost thirty years, you know people. Even in a bigger city like Charlotte, I still had a lot of the same friends throughout the different stages of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I like meeting new people and I’d even go as far as to say that I’m pretty social. However, I just haven’t been in a place in my life where I really had to work at making new relationships.
Being the new girl in a new city
When our family moved to Charleston over the summer, it was the first time I had ever lived away from Charlotte. All of my family still lives in Charlotte and most of my husband’s does as well. It’s all I had ever known.
I remember driving up to our new townhouse here in Hanahan and having a panic attack. The decision for us to move here and the details that followed were made pretty quickly. We didn’t even have the time to make a trip to come and look for a place to live. My best friend and her family live in Mount Pleasant, and she graciously drove around looking at places, taking pictures, meeting with leasing staff, etc. all in the week or two leading up to our move. (Everyone needs this kind of friend in their life! She is a godsend). Anyway, back to moving day…
I’ll never forget how I felt that day. I was trying so hard to be “okay” and to keep my happy face on as we carried box after box into our new home. That weekend went by like the blink of an eye and before I knew it I was alone.
It’s tough to be the new girl as an adult. If I’m honest, I felt VERY alone the first two months or so that we were here. I knew that I had to start making an effort to meet people. Starting to write for the Charleston Moms Blog was one of the first ways I decided to try and connect. Although I don’t know any of you personally, and we have never met face to face, I feel a connection, whether I’m reading other’s blog posts or writing my own. This blog has been a wonderful outlet for me.
I’ve also started meeting some of my neighbors and relationships have begun to form. Connecting with other moms at my church has been another great way for me to feel less lonely.
I know it will continue to take time, but I am grateful for the relationships that have already started forming. I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of this Charleston Moms Blog community, and I thank all of you that read our posts.
If you’re ever the new girl in a town, a job, a school, etc. I’d encourage you to step out of your comfort zone a little bit and reach out to those around you. As women and as moms we have got to come together and support one another!