Maybe I’m the only mama out there that feels this way, but does it ever drive you bonkers when people say your children look like someone else other than you? I even get a little jealous of my hubby when people say that my kids look “just” like him, but I can wrap my head around that. I mean, we did make our children so that makes sense to me.
Growing up, I always dreamed I’d have little mini mes running around that looked exactly like ME. It never occurred to me to worry about them looking like my husband. I didn’t know who my husband was then, so he wasn’t in the equation. Maybe this stems from the fact that I don’t really look exactly like either of my parents or much like my sisters for that matter, but I really wanted mini versions of me.
I know this is completely selfish of me to feel this way, but I did grow them and birth them; I think it’s only natural to want them to look like me. It almost feels like a pat on the back when people say your kids do look like you, at least for me anyway.
That being said, I finally came around to this thought…my children look like themselves because that’s how God made them. They are the perfect blend of my husband and me, and that’s okay. My son has my hair and mouth, but my husband’s eyes; my daughter has my eyes and nose, but my husband’s face shape. And, they are constantly changing…they looked totally different when they were newborns versus now.
Sure, they have features from their grandparents and other relatives, but that doesn’t need to be the focus when you’re talking to a mother. Hello postpartum hormones…..and just generally being on an emotional roller coaster as a mom of small children. We need encouragement, and for some of us that means not hearing that our daughter looks just like our father-in-law. (No offense, Ron!)
My point is that when you see someone else’s children, you don’t know how they feel about this particular thing. I’d like to suggest that you think about what you say before you say it. Some people don’t mind hearing it, but some of us do; and it’s just as easy to say, “You and your husband make beautiful babies!”
