I am a mom of 16-month-old fraternal twin boys. When we found out we were expecting two boys, my biggest concern was how I would be able to tell them apart (total rookie twin mom misconception of the word fraternal). It turns out the question we hear daily is “what is their age difference?” When we tell them, “one minute,” people immediately reply, “they can’t be twins!” They also look absolutely nothing alike.
Our boys are both exactly 30 inches tall, but you would never be able to tell because they are seven pounds different in weight and four inches different in head circumference. Our bigger twin is high on the growth chart in every area but height, while our smaller one is only on the chart for height. What I’ve learned over the past 16 months is that growth charts mean absolutely nothing.
Our small but mighty, Larsen, has been to eight specialists since he was born. He has been poked, prodded, and told that he is “different” looking so something must be missing in his genetic make up. We, of course, think he looks perfect and absolutely adorable. He’s had multiple genetic tests done all coming back with the same results, normal. All doctors can tell us is that he supposedly has some genetic disorder that can’t be detected by our current technology.
Meanwhile he has excelled in every possible milestone. Doctors fretted about his low weight, and then he walked at 10.5 months. He has been evaluated by so many different specialists, and they all marvel at what he’s able to do being such a little guy.
With all this being said, he is a happy, healthy, active boy. He’s just on the smaller side. Why does our society seem to be so obsessed with big babies? As if big equals healthy. Why do we find the need to comment when someone is smaller? I recently had a lady tell me her eight-month old looked bigger than my son. As if that would somehow be helpful. What would happen if we celebrated our kids for who they are instead of measuring them on a growth chart that doesn’t take any type of special circumstance into account? I bet we would all relax a little and enjoy our babies a lot more!
The other day I had my three kids at Home Depot, and a lady stopped me. I was totally prepared for the typical comment about how they can’t be twins, and she totally took me off guard when she said “You have absolutely beautiful kids!” I held back tears right there in the garden department and was so blessed because I do have perfectly made kids and so does everyone out there! I have wasted so much time stressing over statistics like weight and head circumference when I could be spending that time celebrating having two extremely different boys who are thriving in completely different ways. This month I am extra thankful for how completely different my three kids are in size, shape, and form. Let’s celebrate our amazing kids and how beautiful they are and take the time to call out the greatness in the kids all around us. As a mom, it means so much to have positive things spoken over our kids!