Creating a Home as a Third Culture Kid

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When people ask me where I am from, I never quite know how to answer. I usually respond by saying, “Oh, it’s a long story!”

I call Delaware “home” because we have a family home there where I spent every summer with my grandparents and extended family. It’s where I went to college, started my first summer job, met my husband, and began my teaching career.

However, I lived in Scotland for most of my childhood. I spent a total of 13 years there. It is where I started kindergarten and graduated from high school. It’s where I grew up and became known as a Third Culture Kid (TCK).

TCKs are defined as people who have spent a portion of their childhood years in a culture different than that of their parents. My dad works in the oil industry and my family has been able to travel all over the world because of his job. I had an amazing childhood with my parents and two younger sisters, but being a Third Culture Kid has its ups and downs.Landmark and photo of the author as a young "third culture" girl.

The Difficult Parts of Being a Third Culture Kid

There are a lot of “goodbyes” and new beginnings growing up abroad. I remember bawling when it was time to say goodbye to my grandparents and head back to school in Scotland. It was gut-wrenching. I have so much respect and admiration for my mom, flying back and forth to Scotland with three little girls, leaving her own family behind in Delaware.

When I went to college in Delaware, my family was still living overseas. I felt lonely and abandoned after my family left me on my first night at school. It was terrifying to find my place in a big school after graduating from a class of 24 at a close-knit international school. I was known as the “Scotland Girl” for a long time, and no one understood why I didn’t have an accent. Fortunately, I found a great group of girlfriends and spent many weekends and school holidays with their families.

What I’ve Learned

It has taken many years, but as a TCK I have learned to be very independent, open-minded, grateful, and to live in the moment.

As my daughter is getting older, I’ve been reflecting more on my own childhood. Her childhood will be so different from mine. She won’t attend an international school, travel through Europe, or grow up in an old Scottish house with history and charm. But, she will grow up in a home where she is loved and adored, just as I did.

“Home” is now wherever my husband and daughter are . . . wherever our journey may lead us.

Third Culture: A young couple holds their baby girl.