As a mom of a three year old and a newly turned five year old, you’d think I’d be accustomed to not getting my way and for my plans not going the way I envision them going. But every now and then my type A personality (where my type A moms at?) gets the best of me and I plan our day full of fun activities loaded with unrealistic expectations. I write to you with an incident fresh in my mind, being that it took place just a few hours ago.
So let me set the stage…
Knowing that we would be gone for quite a few hours I made sure I fed both of my boys a breakfast loaded with carbs so that their hunger wouldn’t set in for at least a few hours (and by carbs, I mean pancakes drenched in syrup). This would give me enough time to get them and myself dressed and pack our bag loaded with snacks and ice water. Even though the time this takes may backfire, I’m adamant on having a bag of tricks everywhere we go. Call it a mom’s survival kit if you will. We were ready and made it out the door in record time without a meltdown, wrestling match, or injury! So we headed to the farmers market for a family fun day filled with jumpers, slides, bubbles, games, everything that would bring a smile to a little one’s face. As I watched my oldest one holding his little brother’s hand helping him up and down the slide, I had a moment of fulfillment. You’re doing this mom, all by yourself and you are totally rocking it. Until… You see it happening in slow motion but you can’t move fast enough, and even if you could you don’t know what your first move would be. It is the first of many meltdowns, or as I like to call it, “the final countdown.” From that moment we have a limited amount of time to either cut our losses and hightail it out of there or tough it out for the other child’s sake. I don’t know about y’all but mine are usually on opposite ends of the spectrum (behaviorally speaking).
So I went against my better judgment, and we continued with our “fun-filled” day. After multiple embarrassing instances, like the wagon flipping over because my little one refused to sit in the middle causing his veggie straws to spill all over the ground which seemed to be worse than running out of apple juice, I was ready to throw in the towel but not before I fed them lunch of course. While my little one was screaming that he no longer wanted the smoothie that we waited in line 15 minutes for, his brother said, “Just ignore him, mommy, and let’s enjoy our yummy food.” So we did, my oldest licked his plate after eating all of his chicken and waffles and his brother finished drinking his “horrible” smoothie in between whaling screams and sobbing gasps. As I packed up our things, we started heading back to our car, feelings of defeat and failure set in and I began to question myself as a mother. I held back my tears because I didn’t want my oldest son to see me crying. While I was strapping him in, he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and said, “Thank you so much for bringing us today mommy, this was the best day ever!”
The truth is that at one point or another you will feel defeated or not good enough as a mom, but know that in their eyes you are the world to them. They don’t remember your times of weakness, just your times of strength and perseverance. So keep on keepin on!