Retiring The Relentless To-Do List

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The day I quit making infinite to-do lists was the day I stopped feeling disappointed. As good as the “crossed off” items felt, it didn’t compensate for how terrible I felt about the long list of tasks that remained incomplete and waiting for me. The words I wrote with my own right hand badgered me with “what about me?”

It hurt. Sometimes it would strip me of my pride even on days when I made magic happen. I mean, honestly, magic – like dinner was made out of thin air. I began to resent my daily list and dreaded the passing of another day with the list left unfinished.

Prior to motherhood, I knocked out checklists like there was no tomorrow. Now the list uncontrollably grew as if to keep pace or even stay ahead of my one-year-old. I mean really – there was always SOMETHING to add to that relentless list. Life really became: let’s see how much we can cram into a day while in between cooking, cleaning, play dates, errands – then add one more thing to top it all off. This is not even taking into account anything personal for me. (Although I often questioned if I still existed as a person. Zombie maybe?)

Then I had the great epiphany: This is a losing battle. What am I doing?

I didn’t marry or even mother this nagging list of responsibilities– so why am I allowing these scribbled notes from my overly tired brain dictate my life? Why create unnecessary pressure?

I realized I don’t have to feed into my “conquer-it-all” personality. So I told myself, “unchain me from this great displeasure – now.” (Not really in those words, but you get my point.)

I dropped the to-do list and I immediately felt liberated. I no longer have a long running list of unfinished tasks to taunt me when I first wake in the morning or stay on my conscience when I go to bed. I’ve learned to accept that it’s okay to have incomplete business. Life will go on – with or without to-do lists.

Being a mom is tough work. You’re never off the clock. I, like everyone else, want to be supermom, but completing a to-do list doesn’t earn you that title. So, when you feel like your work is never done, stop and ask yourself if you had one more day here on earth, would you:

  1. Be with family doing what you love best? OR
  2. Attempt to complete your list of daily chores?

As a working mom, WAHM, SAHM, whatever – remember you don’t have to be able to do it all – just do what you love and makes you happy. Everything else can take a hike.

How do you handle the relentless to-do list?