Stand For Love

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It is sad to know that every time you turn on the news, chances are that you’ll be hearing about the latest mass shooting or some other devastating terror that is increasingly occurring in our population. When I hear about the events that are happening, the question that always comes to mind is “what is going on in this world and where are we going wrong?” Then I ask myself “what can I do to make a difference?”

After much reflection, I feel as though the Beatles had it all right—“All we need is love, love, love is all we need.” I believe that this perspective can be applied to make our world a better place and also to being a mom and the values we can instill in our children. I realize that my ability to change the world is minimal compared to my ability to raise my children with love in their heart while also equipping them with the traits and skills to facilitate change in their generation. I believe that what we do for and with our children today can have an everlasting impact on them, their relationships with others, and the future landscape of our communities. As mom’s, we have a huge opportunity to instill in our children the importance of virtues such as respect and kindness, resulting in hopeful change and a happier, safer, and gentler world.

Showing kindness

I am definitely not a perfect wife, daughter, mother or friend. I’ve had drama in my life just like everyone else. I’ve allowed pride to interfere with my ability to forgive or put an end to a petty disagreement. I’ve allowed frustration to cloud my ability to remember that the innate temperament and explorative behavior of my twenty-two month old is what he should be doing, not what he is “purposefully” doing to upset mommy. I’ve been rude to someone just because they were rude to me first.

In my quest to instill more love into the world, I have taken a stance to no longer allow for negative emotions to replace the good that can be found in every situation, even if you have to search really, really hard for it. Instead of letting pride control my reaction during an argument, I am going to remember what I love about that person and what I am not willing to lose. Instead of being frustrated when my toddler constantly throws his toys as a way of expressing his anger, I am going to love him through the moment and show him how to love his trucks and trains, instead of throwing them (nothing is cuter than seeing him give a big ole smooch to his toy train). Instead of mouthing off to the clerk who I perceived as being rude to me, I am going to demonstrate kindness and present a loving smile accompanied with a warm thank you.

I have two children under two so their ability to understand detailed conversations about the importance of loving is not as powerful as demonstrating love. Little minds learn so much through observation so modeling loving behaviors is my way of helping my children to see and feel the power of love in the hope that they’ll grow up being loving individuals. There are so many easy, quick ways to demonstrate love and even the smallest of gestures can promote love and change someone’s perspective or make a positive impact on their day, and your day as well. 

Share the love by:

  • Buying the individual’s coffee order who is behind you in the Starbucks drive thru, it will make their day and help them to remember the love for others that is still a part of the human species.
  • Hold the door for a mom juggling rowdy kids, a huge honkin’ diaper bag, and bags of “back to school clothes.”
  • Send your friend a text message just to let them know that you’re thinking of them and that they bring a great deal of joy to your life.
  • Bring the restaurant manager over to your table to brag about the great service provided by your waiter/waitress.
  • Call the grocery store customer service feedback line to bring attention to the professionalism and excellent customer service provided by the young gentleman that helped you carry your groceries to your car.
  • Take a few minutes to call your grandparents and let them tell you all about their day and the silly things their cat did that day, even if it’s the same thing they tell you every time you talk to them.
  • Place a letter in your significant other’s work bag expressing how much they mean to you so that it’s the first thing they see as they begin their workday.
  • Put down your phone to dedicate undivided attention to your little ones as they play, making them feel that they are the only thing that matters in that moment.

Love can be shown in many different ways. Some ways are quick, some ways are easy, some ways are verbal, some ways are physical, and some ways involve planning a special outing. However, no matter the way, every way is an opportunity to immerse more love into your life, your relationships, the lives of others, and your community.

To the Mama’s,

After all the love you’re sharing with others, remember that loving yourself is at the peak of importance—Mama needs some lovin’ too! There are so many things to love about yourself. Let me remind you of just a few: Your body performed like an elite athlete during pregnancy and not just for one event, but for over nine months—now that’s incredible! Sure, you may be sporting new stretch marks or have gone up a size in pants because your hips have widened, but these are just symbols of the miracles we call our children. You are constantly on the go and balance multiple demands and you’re doing all of this with less sleep than you have ever had in your life—you’re a rockstar! You selflessly give your son the last few Chick-fil-A fries from your meal—you have saved up your calories all week just so you could enjoy every ounce of those fries, but when those baby blue eyes look at you and ask for a fry, you can’t help but to hand it over. 🙂 Your daughter falls down and scrapes her knees—you drop everything you are doing to make sure that she is okay and to comfort her. You kiss her scraped knees and miraculously she is all better—you’re a superhero with magical healing powers! As a mom, you are everything to everyone.

Sure, there are those days where you may experience a little mom guilt or snap at your husband for no good reason, but those days are few and far between all the good you show and employ as a mom. Pat yourself on the back time from time or better yet, everyday! Recognize for yourself that you are an elite athlete, you are a rockstar, you are a superhero, and you are the world’s best fry sharer.

Mama’s everywhere, please join me in shouting and showing love to help break down the hate and violence occurring all around us! We can do it, our children can do it, and together we can inspire a community that stands for love!

stand for love

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Melissa Butcher
Melissa recently resigned from her career in higher education and was promoted to her new title as Dr. Mom to two-under-two. Her quest to have a family involved a long road of infertility struggles. She has a son named Rowan who is 21 months old and a girl named Ildi who is 6 months old. There is never a dull moment in the Butcher house with two-under-two. Their days are fast, dirty, silly and tiring, yet also imaginative, magical and memorable. Melissa is passionate about conquering every great moment as well as the challenging moments, with love. She truly embraces the Beatle’s philosophy of “All You Need is Love” especially in moments when she finds herself gritting her teeth and taking deep breaths during the blissful chaos occurring in her home. She enjoys reading, baking, decorating cakes, walking, biking, spending time with her family and friends, and cheering on the Clemson Tigers. She also enjoys writing for infertility and adoption focused organizations, striving to serve and support families pursuing assisted reproductive technologies and adoption to achieve their dreams in becoming parents. In writing for Charleston Moms Blog, Melissa hopes to bring Moms together in enjoying and laughing about the special and comical moments of being a mom as well as providing the comfort and support that all Moms need on this journey we adoringly call Motherhood.