Teaching our kids to “pitch in” around the house can be a challenge. BUT, it is a necessary one because it teaches them responsibility and fosters their independence. We all want our children to grow up to be responsible adults who can take care of themselves.
The best advice is to start them young! Younger children, especially preschool-aged children, are eager to please. When they desire to help Mommy with the dishes or set the dinner table, let them. It may not be perfect and the forks may be on the wrong side of the plate, but let them do it. Not only will it instill a sense of pride in your child, it’s one less chore you as a Mom need to do.
I’m guilty of this, and I work hard to not do it, but please do not jump in and do the task for them. This undermines the entire project. The goal is to help your children develop a sense of self-esteem and accomplishment. When you first begin assigning chores, it may seem like more work for you. Hold tight…it will work itself out, and soon they will be your little helpers.
Here are some tips for when you have a child who doesn’t want to help or you just aren’t sure how to start:
-Depending on the age of your child, play the “big kid card.” Tell them how much you appreciate the help and what a big boy or girl they are becoming.
-If your kids are like my kids, they want everything to be fun. f it feels like a chore, they really drag their feet. So, make it fun. Put on music and challenge them to have the toys cleaned up before the music ends.
-Try a reward system. You don’t have to pay an allowance unless you want to; you can reward with “extra cuddle time,” or if they are older, “extra TV or computer time.” If your child is older and you are feeling some resistance from them explain to them that it is important for everyone in your family to contribute to the good of your family and your home.
-Some children respond well with charts and stickers or a list of expected chores to be completed. I found this list of age appropriate chores that you may find helpful.
–Chores by age. When your children are working on their chores, praise them and then praise them so more!!! It will build the positive momentum and hopefully help everyone’s motivation. Try not to be inconsistent with your expectations. I am guilty of starting something with my girls and then not following through. If your kids aren’t expected to regularly follow through with their chores, they WILL start to slack. Keep them motivated and hold them accountable. This is when a visual checklist may come in handy. This is a printable chore chart you can use.
-Your children can handle more than you think. Kids today are computer wizards, let them figure out the dishwasher too! It may take you showing them how to load it and what buttons to press, but by teaching them how to do it, you’re giving them a chance to succeed.
-If you have pets in your home, this is a great opportunity to help teach your children responsibility. Let them feed your pet, or take it for a walk. Kids really do want to feel needed and that they are contributing to your household. A pet is a wonderful way to help foster this independence.
-Remember, when you give instructions for a chore to be as specific as you can. I’ve told my girls to “go clean your room please.” When I walk upstairs to check, the bookshelf is a disaster and the toy bin looks like a tornado hit. se specific tasks for example, “Please go clean and organize your bookshelf.” his way there is no confusion and there is accountability.
It is our responsibility as parents to instill values and work ethic in our children. The more practice we provide for them now, the better they will handle expectations into adulthood. Find incentives that work for you and your family. There is no clear-cut, black and white plan. You may have to get creative and figure out what motivates your children. It will be worth it to see and feel your household running more smoothly.
