“They won’t play with me, Mommy. I’m not part of their club. They say I’m not a princess and only princesses can be in The Princess Club.”
Her eyes were filled with tears. After a little probing, I found out from my daughter that being in “The Princess Club” meant wearing certain clothes, specifically expensive brands of dresses. This was one of those moments I had known would come but had hoped we could somehow avoid. It was one I had thought about when she was sweetly sleeping in her crib and one that I had tried to prepare her for. I brushed the curls out of Bella’s face and told her that there are princesses of every type in this world and the most important parts of a princess have nothing to do with the dress or even her crown. I scooped her up into my arms and hugged her while I walked to the kitchen table.
A part of me wanted to rush out and buy the “princess” dresses so she could fit in and the heartbreak could end.
Mamas are supposed to fix things right?
But I knew she was going to face “Princess Clubs” throughout her life and I wouldn’t always be there to simply buy her whatever crown the group required. I thought back to the times in my life when I had also felt this way. I wasn’t born into a royal family and I was a very different kind of child. I loved to read, imagine, and explore the outdoors. I was never good at being graceful or delicate. But I did often watch and wonder why others had the things my young heart desired.
Why did they deserve this more than I did?
How can I be more like them so they will want to be my friend?
Would boys like me more if I changed this about myself?
- Cinderella: She was strong even when she felt like no one loved her and she was kind to everyone, no matter who they were (even little animals).
- Belle: She was smart! She loved to read and imagine great things for her life. She wasn’t afraid of an adventure and didn’t change who she was because other people wanted her to.
- Elsa: She loved her family so very much. She learned to embrace her unique gifts and it helped her become the sister and person she wanted to be.
- Tiana: She worked hard to make all her dreams come true. She stayed focused and believed in herself.
- Merida: Merida has a wildness about her that can’t be changed to suit anyone else. We both love that about her. Bella loves how courageous Merida is and her wild, curly hair (because Bella also has wild, curly hair). She also fiercely loves her little brothers.
Thank you for reading! I just want to add that this little experience that my daughter had was completely simple and normal…and just part of growing up. Her school absolutely does not condone any kind of cliques/bullying. We couldn’t be happier! This is kids being kids and me just trying to help my daughter navigate the world. ( :
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