“So, do you have all of your ducks in a row?” asked my sweet OBGYN at my last appointment. “Uh…NO” I deadpanned. She laughed. I freaked out internally. My husband and I are expecting our second boy in just a couple of weeks and I do not feel ready AT ALL. I’m ready in the way that I got my hair cut and eyebrows waxed! But ready in the way that a new baby is going to be inhabiting our house soon? Nope! Not ready.
The juxtapose between getting ready for my first son and “getting ready” for my second baby seems huge. At this point in my pregnancy last time, I had unwrapped all of my brand new baby gear that I was gifted, washed all of his brand new little clothes in baby-safe laundry detergent, packed my hospital bag, wrote a birth plan, made freezer meals, cleaned my house, and went on dates with my husband to soak up the last moments of just the two of us. This time? Between chasing after a toddler and working from home, I can barely wrap my head around what I need to do to get ready for this baby boy! I feel like I have literally done nothing yet! I’m not sure if there is some sort of subconscious reason for this or if I’m honestly, truly, too busy to do it. Or maybe it’s because every time I get a free afternoon, a nap just sounds better.
I think because my first-born is only 20 months old, I just assume that we have everything we need – it seems like he was just a newborn! With less than 20 days to go though, maybe I should at least pull the gear out of storage and make sure. Going on dates with my husband? Ha! It’s our anniversary this month and we have nothing planned. Life just feels so much more hectic this time around!
I called my mom and lamented to her about my unpreparedness. After reassuring me that everything would be fine and that I was probably more prepared than I thought, she said, “Well at least you bought the diapers!” Um, what diapers?? I literally had not bought any newborn diapers yet. Cue a quick run to Wal-mart to stock up on diapers, wipes and baby powder!
Even the idea of packing my hospital bag this time around seems hard! I just want to pack jammies and some fruit snacks. That should be good enough, right? Maybe because I’ve had one baby already, I kind of know the drill and it doesn’t seem so scary or ominous and my anxiety level is much lower. I’m just ready to meet my baby already!
I feel like I owe my unborn baby a little explanation:
Dear Baby Boy,
I am so sorry that all of your baby gear is already poop-stained from your brother and that most of your clothes are hand-me-downs. I’m sorry that I don’t have everything ready yet for your arrival and that we’re probably going to have to make some late-night Target runs because there are things that I forgot. But I want you to know that we are SO excited to meet you. We’ve told your older brother all about you and about how much fun you two are going to have together. Even if our house is a mess and our refrigerator is empty when we get home from the hospital, we are going to love the heck out of you and snuggle you so much that you can look past our unpreparedness. That’s what’s most important, right?
Your sleepy, unorganized, but incredibly excited Mom