Listen, we have all done it. I mean, we are all moms here, right? You look at that fancy mom, you know the one…hair fixed, makeup on, perfectly dressed children who would never dare to spit up on her, and she looks like she has it all under control and we think to ourselves, “How wonderful it must be to be her.” I barely have time to shower in the morning, my five-year-old son only speaks Velociraptor, and my nine-year-old daughter has decided that she doesn’t want to walk anymore so she flips everywhere. Literally everywhere. Think about that…to the car, to the bathroom, to the dinner table and anywhere else, its cartwheel, round-off, split. Everywhere. I had the realization recently that these are my monkeys and this is my circus and now I have to handle this life.
How I am taking on life
I just turned thirty-six and finally realized something that I would like to share with you: This life is mine. I have to stop worrying about the fancy people and decide to live my life the best way I can. I praise my daughter’s abilities, even though I get dizzy watching her. She is proud of what she can do, and so am I. And I stopped caring about the judgmental stares that I get when my son speaks Velociraptor in public, I just speak it right back to him and tell people that I’m a really good translator. They may laugh or judge me, but for that one moment, I am my son’s hero. I care way more about how my kids see me than someone I’ve never met.
Growing up I never really knew how to be part of a real family. So my husband and I decided to be intentional and proactive with our kids. My son works best by being given one task at a time and my daughter works best with music. We have learned what works for each of us and we commit to being a team. We are Team Chandler all the way and my son will tell everyone, “My mom says that teamwork is dream work.” And it really is. Find what makes your team work the best and celebrate it.
Another thing you can do to take on life is to take a good look at yourself. When I try to do this, my focus only goes to the bad, but we all have good qualities that need to be recognized. I know this sounds crazy, but you could even make a list. Sometimes, remembering the good makes the bad seem less important. Also, take one of the bad things and think about how you can make it better. For example, a good quality of mine is that I enjoy helping people, so I volunteer. A bad quality of mine is that I need to lose weight, so I run to be healthier.
Understanding yourself is a great way to conquer life. I made the decision that because of my history with the scale, that I would only weigh myself once a month. My goal is to be healthier, but I know with that comes weight loss. So instead of conquering the scale, I conquer runs. I finished a 10k in March and I’m looking ahead towards my second half marathon in November. It is all about perspective.
Another way to take on life is to make a list of goals. Goals for the future, and goals for right now. Shoot, I make a list of everything I need to do today, so that I feel like I’m conquering mini goals all the time… Shower: check, kids to school: check… see how amazing I am!?!?! If you know what you want, then you can figure out what to do to get there. What is the saying? “Fail to plan and you plan to fail” I live by that. It helps me keep everything in order. I have a big calendar in my pantry that has everyone’s activities written on it. Yes, it’s color coded by person, I can’t help it, that’s who I am and I’ve embraced the nerd in me. But it helps me and the family stay on track.
Lastly, I want to say, remember to be you. Sometimes we get so caught up in the family and keeping up with everyone around us, that we lose ourselves in being a mom, wife, daughter, volunteer, career woman, and so much more. We forget that little spark that makes us unique. You are so special and never forget it. You were made for a purpose and it is up to you to find it. When you take on life with intention and purpose, then you can conquer any goal.