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New Year, New Toddler, New Plan

For most toddlers, New Year’s day was like any other day—a brand new start, a clean slate, a new obstacle to conquer, puzzle to tackle, or another object to climb. While a fresh view of the world has it’s beauty, it could also be an overwhelming source of frustration when all 365 days come with a new set of guidelines, of which only a select few make any sense.  Motherly New Year’s Resolutions will no doubt encroach on a toddler’s most immediate demands, so I decided to have an open conversation with my daughter about this second year of her life and ways she thought we could have an even better year than the last. Finally, after careful consideration, sixteen items topped the charts of my toddler’s “To-Do in 2016” list.  Here goes.

My toddler’s “to-do” list for 2016:

1. I will allow you to change my diaper once a day without a roundhouse kick to the face.

new toddler V

2. I will dress myself, thank you.

3. I will not feed the dog. This is true because, let’s face it, you are either going to put me or the dog outside at meal time because I love feeding that furry friend of mine.

new toddler IV

4. I will only have grocery cart anxiety once a week.

5. I will give you a warning before I start my shenanigans at the checkout line.

6. I will bring you even more objects throughout the day to hold.

New toddler I

7. I will eat more food than sand, but not guaranteed to be the same food as yesterday.

8. I will peacefully enter and exit the car seat, if you do not leave before noon, or after 5.

9. I will in fact stop screaming if you can find a way for me to have a strong word with this magical tooth fairy everyone seems to enjoy but me.

10. I will most certainly let you sleep sometimes; I think you’ve been a little temperamental lately.

11. I will learn to say more words like “thank you” if you give me unlimited access to something I can truly appreciate. Some examples include: the REAL remote with batteries, the car keys while in the car, the dishwasher with knives, your eyes, nose and mouth.

New toddler II

12. I will smile during any and all photo sessions while naked.

13. I will give up my bottle if you give me a closer look at yours.

14. I will use the potty, as well as the bathtub, pool, and diaper.

15. I will master the art of climbing all objects and safely returning to the ground per normal toddler standards.

New toddler III

16. This last and final resolution is something I have diligently been working on since my eyes opened. Even though you dress me in clothes, not to mention ridiculous outfits, wipe my face every two seconds, have a list of over 1,000 items that are off limits, and force me to wear a diaper, I know my best chances in this world are coming from you. And this world seems pretty tough. So, my mission for 2016 is to give more of the biggest, baddest bear hugs with a super tight after squeeze.

Cheers to toddler triumphs in 2016!  

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