In April of 2014, we went through our first round of IVF. We thought for sure we would be one of the “one and done” stories. I mean, after all, I already had one child without assistance, so I had to be a shoo-in for bypassing my scar tissue damaged tubes and sticking a couple high grade embryos in my uterus to do their thing.
Was I ever wrong! I remember so clearly going in for a sneak peek at my blood test results, seeing a whopping five as my HCG level and holding it together until I got to the car to cry. I was totally prepared when the nurse called to give me the official news. Thankfully we are practical people who didn’t put all of our eggs in one basket. We had an insurance plan that included multiple rounds, but we were still faced with the question, “what now?”
I was bound and determined not to let one failed round determine our future. I talked to a couple of friends who it took more than one round to get pregnant, and they all encouraged me to bounce back, stay positive, and stick with the fight. So I immediately planned a fun weekend for us followed by a couple of fun summer trips with our daughter to keep our minds off things. Then I started thinking about our next round with our frozen embryos. Don’t get me wrong, I still cried a lot and yelled about life not being fair as my fertile-myrtle friends announced their pregnancies while they weren’t even “trying,” but I never allowed myself more than a couple of days of this type of thinking.
Unfortunately, our second round of IVF ended in an ectopic pregnancy. It was such a heart-wrenching experience of thinking it was a normal pregnancy and things going horribly wrong. It was a rollercoaster of emotions I didn’t even know existed! After that blow, we took advantage of a cheap Hawaiian vacation to heal and decide if we wanted to try again. We ended up deciding to try one more time, and our third round is when the magic happened. Two beautiful embryos did their hatch, attach, and grow routine and fraternal twin boys joined our family in July of 2015.
What we learned from our IVF failures helped so much with each round. Our first round were three-day embryos and nothing happened. I got pregnant on our second round with five-day frozen embryos. Then on our third and final round, our doctor knew my body would respond well to fresh five-day embryos, and they both stuck around to complete our family of five. I wish someone had told me going into IVF that it would most likely be a learning process just like not everyone gets pregnant naturally on their first try. Of course, I still hope anyone going through this would get pregnant on your first round because it is very difficult to endure multiple rounds.
If you are facing a failed round and still want to keep going, find a way to pick yourself back up and try again. I am so thankful for the people in my life who told us to try again. I attribute most of my mental toughness now to our three rounds of IVF. You never know when everything will come together perfectly and make a baby or babies.