How and When to Simplify Your Life by Saying “No”

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How and When to Simply Your Life by Saying “No”

It is the New Year, and many of us have New Years Resolutions. Seeing everyone express their resolutions had made me think: In order to put time and energy into a new hobby or skill, you must make room for it, right? If you are already overwhelmed with to-lists, meetings, events, kids activities, and unnecessary appointments, then most likely you will have a hard time fitting in something else. Here is a list of items that we at Charleston Moms Blog typically feel overwhelmed by. When you are reading the list below, think about how you can say “no” and give yourself the peace and freedom that you deserve.

Feeling overwhelmed by all.the.things

  1. Events that you do not want to go to. This is an easy one. I am here to tell you, if you are invited to an event, yet you do not really want to go, then don’t go! Politely respond to the invite in a timely manner – you can send a nice note (or even a text) thanking them for the invitation, but let them know that you cannot attend. No explanation needed, just be sure to respond timely and as always, politely. This is completely acceptable. 
  2. Obligations at your kid’s school. You can only do so much, and that is OK! If you don’t want to be on the PTA, then don’t! You can help out the school in other ways. I think just participating in the the normal activities (appreciation days, fundraisers, fairs, etc.) can seem like a lot. If you do more than you can handle (or what you want to do), you will begin resent the school and that is not fun for anyone. 
  3. The amount of stuff that comes into your house. This one is HUGE. When you are at the store, whether with your kids or solo, think long and hard before buying something. You aren’t just spending your hard earned money on this item. You are also dedicating time and energy to take care of this item (clean it, repair it, maintain it, etc.); how much time is this item going to cost you? Is there a designated spot for this item in your home, or will it be added to a bottomless pit somewhere? If it isn’t making your life better or easier, just say “no”. 
  4. Pinterest anything. Whether it’s meals, birthday parties, decorations – whatever. Unless you are naturally artsy, or truly enjoy the time and effort to make these pins come to life, do not feel pressured to make everything look perfect. Whatever it may be (a birthday party or a meal), your child is going to remember YOU, the fun they had, and the love they experienced, not how many hours you spent gluing together invitations. Give yourself a break. Celebrate in ways that require enjoyable effort, then embrace the event and cherish your memories. You are certainly not a bad mother for not having a Pinterest party or nightly meal. Trust me. 
  5. Losing weight and eating right while having a messy home. I see this time and time again. So many women focus on exercising and eating healthier. They put in the work and start doing amazing – yes!!!!! Then, they walk into a messy home and all of those incredible endorphins are depleted. Do yourself (and your family) a favor. Simplify and organize your home. Free your life of the unnecessary stuff, so that you can embrace the reward of the hard work you are putting into your health. Reduce your stress and embrace your success!
  6. Being the mom that “has it all.” Let me tell you something. No mom has it all. We all feel guilt, and we all feel jealous of another mother at some point. Let go of that. All of that. None of us are perfect. We are all trying our best, and we are all in this together. Mothers are the strongest women in the world, so let’s build each other up and support one another, instead of pushing each other away. We will all be better mothers, and women, if we do. 
  7. Relationships that are draining. We all have those relationships that are more exhausting than them seem worth having. There are those relationships where it seems like we are always the one calling, texting, or initiating every get together. Every relationship is different and requires a different level of commitment. So when you are deciding which relationships to put the most energy into, choose the ones with the people who bring you up, and not down. We could go way deeper with this, but if someone doesn’t make you feel loved, or like the best you that you can be, do they really deserve to be in the front and center of your life? Save that sacred space for the ones that make you feel the most valued, because you are, and you deserve to feel that way. 
  8. Anything that makes your gut scream NO. I am not saying skip on your bills because you see them and think “noooo!” You still have to be honest and responsible, but be honest and responsible to yourself, too. There are times when we are asked to do things, and we feel like we should, but there’s that deep feeling inside that’s saying “no.” If saying “no” is an option, and your gut is telling you “no”, then just say “no.” You will feel a tremendous amount of relief by being honest with yourself and not doing something you were only going to do because you felt pressured. 

So sweet mama, we want to see you succeed at your New Years Resolutions, or any positive changes you want to make in your life. Let go of the things that are bogging you down, and don’t feel guilty! You are the center of your family. The happier mom is, the happier the entire family will be. There is a reason why the airlines tell you put on your oxygen mask before your children.  Because if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of anyone else? Simplify your life of all the extra stress. Say “no” to what’s not a necessity and say YES to you. You deserve it! 

How and When to Simply Your Life by Saying “No”

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Amy Kay
Amy grew up in Kansas City, Kansas and graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in Environmental Studies. Her dream was to make the world a better place by improving the environment for everyone. After getting her dream job in Texas, she met the love her of her life, Evan; they had a beautiful daughter in 2012 and moved to Mount Pleasant in 2013. Amy intended on continuing to work in the field of Sustainability (all things green and ecofriendly) but ended up being a SAHM. Although she found it a blessing to be able to stay home full time with her daughter, she struggled to find herself in her new identity. In 2014, her family expanded with a son and with his birth she began to be more confident as both a woman and a mother, and lover of the Lowcountry. She turned her love of family and the environment into a business (www.de-cluttered.com) that allows her to keep her family first while helping others. Through de-cluttered, Amy helps families deep clean their homes, taking the weight of clutter off of their shoulders and donating those extra items to local charities throughout Charleston. Amy also loves being at the beach, having an adventure, connecting with new people and is always looking to learn something new.