It was an early Monday morning and my living room had just begun to fill with daylight. I had gotten up extra early to make sure everything on my to-do list was complete because I had an early flight to catch for my monthly business trip. My little girl, with her messy hair and her still sleepy eyes came over and gave me a hug and my husband kissed me on the forehead as I gathered my things to leave for the airport. This routine is something I’ve become accustomed to, but as I got in the car something about the day felt off.
As I took the 20 minute ride through town I thought to myself, “Why do I always feel like I’m missing out on the moment?” I often feel like the important things, the little things, are happening around me because I’m always busy focusing on what I have to get done next. Mornings feel rushed to get everyone dressed and out the door to work and school. Work is busy because it’s work. Evenings feel hectic because I’m trying to clean up the mess from the morning and get everything ready for the next day just to start the whole process over again. To be honest, most days feel like lots of shuffling people from one place to the next, never ending emails, an extraordinary amount of chores and very little time spending actual quality time with the people I love.
So, during my trip I thought about what I could do to make things feel and look different. I am by no means the picture perfect mom or wife. I mean seriously, I don’t even know how to cook! But, I have to let go of the overachiever attitude in every aspect of my life and realize that being a mom, a wife, an employee, a daughter, and a friend are more important to me than the pile of dishes in the sink or the email that can wait until tomorrow. I have to be willing to let go for my sanity, to have the time to play with my kids and actually love my husband.
The juggle and the struggle as a working mom are real. Hell, being a mom is not easy any way you slice it, but I no longer want the days to go by when everything on my checklist is done, but the people around me have only seen me shuffling by with loads of laundry. The change is necessary and what I don’t get done today can always wait until tomorrow.