Passionate About the Community
and the Moms Who Live Here

I Want to be a Bad Mom

I recently went to see the “Bad Moms” movie with a bunch of my other mom friends. Just like any other night out without the kids and with a little wine involved, it was a fantastic evening. The movie was a little crass, but absolutely hilarious and hit the pressures of motherhood right on the nose.

If you haven’t seen the movie yet, make it a priority for you and your girlfriends to go see. But let me give you a quick little synopsis without giving anything away. Mila Kunis is an overworked, under-appreciated mom of two who, like the other moms in the movie, feel like they have to be perfect. The level of perfection expected from the moms in the movie is ridiculously exaggerated but perfectly relatable. An outrageous example is the bake sale that required homemade goods without: sugar, gluten, soy, peanuts, etc. So when Mila’s character decides to buck the system, be herself, and become a “bad mom,” she brings in donut holes from the gas station. That’s when everything hits the fan.
I loved that this movie kind of poked fun at every type of mom there is, even calling some out specifically. Each stereotype was represented in the extreme, but the point of the whole movie is that we are all just really “bad moms” at heart. We put on a show for the benefit of other people, with the help of Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram… only showing off the 5% of perfection that is actually a part of our lives.
I'm tired of all the "good moms" on social media....perfect hair, smiling children, Pin-worthy DIYs. Am I the only "bad mom" out there?!?!?!And when fellow moms compare 100% of their hot mess (but normal) life to other moms’ 5% of perfection, the results are devastating. Especially since that 5% that we show off to the world is sometimes completely staged, and often exaggerated. The nauseating public displays of affection toward your spouse on Facebook hides the rough patch the two of your are going through. The perfectly staged close-up of the DIY centerpiece that you painstakingly made hides all the rest of the crap all over your kitchen counter.  And the “just whipped this up” comment underneath masks the chores that you neglected while DIY’ing all.day.long. But seeing others’ similar perfect posts constantly make us feel like we aren’t doing enough; pressuring us into unnecessarily creating the illusion of a perfect life and a perfect family. We hide our “bad mom” moments behind the illusion of a “good mom”
But in truth, some of these “bad mom” moments that we are so ashamed of: our kid getting benched, a school project that looks like crap, a messy house or a Lunch-able for dinner – these are often the moments that turn our kids into nice people, rather than just little objects of perfection. The benched kid learns humility and sportsmanship, the crappy artist learns about hard work and perseverance, and that messy house and on the go dinner mean that you were spending time with your kids creating memories. When you show your kids {and the rest of your world} your mistakes, your are teaching them to be themselves. To always try their best, to not worry about what others’ are doing but focus on their own fulfilling life instead.
So let’s stop the comparisons. Stop the social media bragging on your 5%. Stop the vicious cycle of enabling and championing our little losers. Stop the excuses for bad behavior and the sheltering from everything. We can show love to our kids by teaching them how to deal and then letting them experience real life. Hardships. Disappointments. It will make them better people; able to cope with situations and have empathy toward others. Sure, celebrate the true victories and tell your kids that you are proud of them. Them. Mistakes, losses, wins, straight B’s, kindness toward others, dealing with disappointment, self control, accountability, trustworthiness, generosity, etc. Let them know that perfection is not expected, but you expect them to always try their best and be themselves.  Then tell yourself that too.
I'm tired of all the "good moms" on social media....perfect hair, smiling children, Pin-worthy DIYs. Am I the only "bad mom" out there?!?!?!

My unstaged and unedited attempt at a selfie with my silly and pouting daughters in the midst of homework and chaos. No photoshopped wrinkles. No clean house. No optimal lighting, brushed hair, or even poses. Just us.

 
And as for the rest of your perfect little life {on social media, anyways}…let it go a little. Don’t get me wrong, I have a Pinterest board for every room of my house and a visions of a perfectly decorated mantle for each holiday. I love looking at that stuff and dreaming about future houses I may have, the organization of my home when I have more time, when I finally gather all of those rustic knick-knacks to make my home “Farmhouse Fresh.”.  But the “bad mom” in me also appreciates the real life photos:  clutter, kids melting down, burnt dinners and Pinterest fails. Because these pictures let me know I’m not alone; there are other “bad moms” out there too! I don’t mind being perceived as a “bad mom” with a cluttered house and take-out, as long as I get time with my family and my kids turn out to be kind, independent, hard-working and humble.
 
So, who’s with me?  Who else wants to be a “bad mom”?
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